Work Life Balance: The Gift Of Too Much To Do

On any given day I generally have more than enough to do. Sometimes I have so much to do that I hardly know where to begin. Yet the fact is that most weeks I work less than 40 hours.

People are always asking me how I get everything done. How do I find the time to read so much? How can I travel and attend trainings while keeping up with my practice? How do I manage to write my blog and Authentic Promotion newsletter? How do I maintain work life balance that has become the Holy Grail of our times? What's my secret?

There are many answers, but one in particular arose in the midst of one of my morning meditation. As usual, my mind was prancing around like a young puppy, willing to heel for only a moment or two before racing off to explore some enticing scent in the bushes. Also as usual, one of these enticing scents was my "To Do" list.

As I gave a gentle tug on my mental leash, I experienced a sudden shift in perception. It was as if I had slipped through the looking glass to discover that I was living in a world of abundant possibility as opposed to one of temporal scarcity.

I no longer had the problem of not enough time and balancing my life with my work; I had the gift of more than enough to do.

Why is this a gift? Consider this. When you are invited to a smorgasbord laden with more delicacies than you can possibly sample, you choose from among the offerings the ones that you want most. What you choose will depend on your needs, desires, and values. Do you want to try something new? Do you want to experiment with a new combination of familiar pleasures? Do you have allergies to consider? Is there a favorite food you want to make sure to taste again?

Sure, you could approach the buffet with resentment, frustrated that the thoughtless hosts had plotted to overwhelm you. But why on earth would you adopt that point of view? What would you gain?

As I sat with this notion of having more than enough to do, I knew intuitively that I did not have to do everything on my list any more than I would have to eat everything at a buffet. I also knew that accepting that I could not do it all was part of the pleasure of acknowledging the wealth of opportunity before me.

I've spent several days now musing about what actions and choices arise from "behind the looking glass." Here are some of the practical ways this shift shows up:

* When I notice that I have more than enough, it is natural to look for how I can share it, giving a whole new twist to the notion of delegating work. Who would enjoy doing this work? Who would enjoy learning how to do this? With whom would I like to try this?
* When I notice that I have more than enough, it is natural to wonder what I want most and why. This invigorates the process of setting priorities. What would be the most fun? What would be the most nourishing? What can keep for another day of my life? What can I enjoy from a distance?
* When I notice that I have more than enough, it is natural to act from gratitude and to express gratitude through good stewardship. For the sake of what shall I make this choice? What makes the most sense or is most necessary in light of current life conditions? What selections support healthy ambition? How can I preserve or conserve opportunities for another person or another day? If I cannot use an opportunity, how can I be complete with it?
* When I notice that I have more than enough, I can trust the ebb and flow of natural abundance. I regard unused possibilities of balancing my life with my work as compost for the future. I appreciate that times of apparent emptiness are the seedbed for times of opportunity. I know that when seedlings grow too thickly, it is time to thin the garden, not to complain about the pressure of competing priorities.

I encourage you to notice your own relationship to time and the things you have to do. Check your work life balance and emotional weather report as it relates to planning either for the day or for a specific project over a period of days. Then notice the physical sensations that correspond to this weather report. How does this change when you play with the notion that rather than too little time you more than enough to do, an abundance of opportunity?

Once you have felt your way into this different frame of mind, see what new possibilities show up. What actions are possible (and how are they qualitatively different) from this place?

Small Things Create Big Results

We have heard it a million times in business, school, relationships and life in general.

It’s the small things that make the difference.

Then why do the vast majority of people keep searching for that magic bullet, that secret ingredient, that special something to catapult them to success?

Van Gogh said, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”

Vince was a pretty talented guy. You know, Starry Nights, Irisis and like a gazillion other amazing masterpieces. We remember him for great things. Monumental things. Brilliant things.

And yet he says it was all about the small things.

Thoreau said this, “Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand. Simplify, simplify.”

Henry was a pretty talented guy too and produced some literary masterpieces on his own.

Now, I am not suggesting you go cut off your ear or go find a cabin in the middle of the woods and close yourself off from the world. I mean, if you think that’s what you need, go for it…but there are likely other routes to take.

In our insanely fast paced world, we often try and do it all. We imagine ourselves into this huge life and often think we are going to get their with one great leap forward as if there is that one thing that will propel us forward into greatness.

It doesn’t work that way.

Small forwarding, positive actions over time create enduring success.

Or as Jeff Olson calls it in his bestselling book…the Slight Edge.

It’s the seemingly insignificant things that when we do them don’t seem to make a difference that over time either create greatness or perpetuate mediocrity.

In relationships with ourselves and others…

It’s getting off work a little early once a week to pick your kids up from school and spend some uninterrupted time together.

It’s having family dinner consistently together so you can just talk.

It’s bringing home flowers on a Tuesday…that’s not her birthday, anniversary or mother’s day.

It’s rubbing his shoulders without being asked.

It’s setting aside “us time” and “me time” consistently…not just when you can’t take it any more.

It’s meditating, working out and reading…at least a few times EVERY WEEK.

It’s eating that one raw meal a day.

These are all seemingly insignificant things that add up over time…and over time they contribute to the body of work that is our lives.

In business and marketing…

It’s making new contacts and exposures to your business every single day.

It’s putting out 1 single piece of good content online every day.

It’s being of value in the social media space with your dialogue and interactions.

It’s stepping up to lead even when you may not think you are ready.

It’s stretching yourself past your comfort zone…and doing it with joy.

It’s doing the thing NOW, not tomorrow or next week, but NOW!

I know that we sometimes seem to get a lot of conflicting information in the world of personal development. Some advice teaches us to focus on getting the big parts of our lives in order, to focus on vision, to make sure the most important things are our priorities.

These things are all true.

But we don’t get where we are going by leaping the chasm. We get there by putting one foot in front of the other and simply taking a step forward.

It’s really not that hard.

And that’s the challenge.

It’s simple.

So most people miss it.

Do the small things anyway.

Choose what you want. Create the vision. Decide what things need to be done to move your forward towards your goals.

Then just get started…and stay consistent…even when you don’t feel like it.

Hold your vision in mind while focusing on what’s next. What is the next thing you need to do? Then just do it.

Check it off the To-Do list.

This is so much more than just staying in action. It’s adopting a belief system that success is the culmination of many small influences and actions. It’s “a knowing” that the thing you are doing right now is either moving you closer to or further away from what you want.

Let’s go get it done.

But please, please, please…do it with style. Put YOU into your daily actions. If you are going to show up…SHOW UP!

Show up with 100% of who you are – whether it’s parenting, being intimate, marketing, training, talking to a prospect, learning from a mentor, taking care of yourself, working out, being quiet or making a difference for someone.

So what are you waiting for?

Stop Networking and Start Building Relationships

Creating working relationships should be the goal of networking, not meeting as many people as possible.

At traditional networking events and online networking sites such as MySpace, Facebook and LinkedIn, the focus is simply connecting you with as many people as possible. We need to shift our networking goals from numbers and volume to quality and relationships. After all, the point of networking is to connect yourself with others who can help you, as well as you help them. Relationships, communication and trust are fundamental for this. Simply exchanging business cards doesn’t build communication or trust.

"The formula for success = your human capital (what you know) times your social capital (who you know) times your reputation (who trusts you)."

When you build relationships you are increasing your social capital and reputation. You may even build your human capital too because you can learn a lot through your relationships.

Building Relationships 101
When was the last time you've met an excellent contact and developed a relationship at a networking event? It's probably been a while, if it has ever happened to you at all. Networking situations aren't always conducive to creating relationships. There are many distractions, expectations and information hustlers – the people who collect massive stacks ofbusiness cards.

After you've met someone, when you call or email, do you have to explain how and where you met? If so, does that count as a contact and is it worth having? By building meaningful working relationships, you will know your contacts and they will know you. This builds trust, which can lead to amazing opportunities.

Relationships blossom in non-networking, low stress, situations (dinner parties and social settings) because nothing is expected. This environment allows everyone to act natural. If you aren't expected to connect with someone, when you do connect it's genuine and authentic; the spark is there and the ideas flow. Through these connections, relationships are formed. You should always be ready to start a new relationship. Here are some tips to help you:

Make New Relationships

Starting a relationship is like inspiration, you never know when it will hit. Taking a moment now to prepare will help you when your next relationship starts.

* Always Be Prepared - A business card is your most basic relationship tool, it allows others to connect with you. Step one is to make sure you always have your business card with you. This is the easy part and the challenge lays ahead.

* Shareable Ideas - Think of 3 interesting ideas and keep them in the back of your mind, current events and popular topics work well. These ideas will act as a springboard when you meet someone new. These topics allow you to open a dialog, which is the first step tobuilding a relationship.

* Empathize - Think not only of yourself. Try to imagine the other person's needs. How could you help them? What can you offer? By giving a little, you can get a lot.

* Spend The Time - Spend the time to get to know someone. Don't pressure yourself into meeting as many people as possible. Slow down and connect with those who are around you. Like anything of value, a relationship takes time to build.

Reach Out
Once you focus on building relationships instead of gathering business cards, following up with others is easy and fun. For starters, you'll have less people to contact because you’ve spent time communicating and sharing ideas. Also, when you reach out to your contacts, you'll have something important and interesting to say, based on your previous conversation.

It’s All About Relationships
Remember, the goal is to establish lasting working relationships. Reach out and talk to your peers, neighbors and those around you. Take an interest in them and you’ll be surprise with the results.

The 80-20 Rule...

The 80-20 Rule-Pareto's Principle

In 1906, Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto created a mathematical formula to describe the unequal distribution of wealth in his country, observing that twenty percent of the people owned eighty percent of the wealth. In the late 1940s, Dr. Joseph M. Juran inaccurately attributed the 80/20 Rule to Pareto, calling it Pareto's Principle. While it may be misnamed, Pareto's Principle or Pareto's Law as it is sometimes called, can be a very effective tool to help you manage effectively.

Where It Came From

After Pareto made his observation and created his formula, many others observed similar phenomena in their own areas of expertise. Quality Management pioneer, Dr. Joseph Juran, working in the US in the 1930s and 40s recognized a universal principle he called the "vital few and trivial many" and reduced it to writing. In an early work, a lack of precision on Juran's part made it appear that he was applying Pareto's observations about economics to a broader body of work. The name Pareto's Principle stuck, probably because it sounded better than Juran's Principle.

As a result, Dr. Juran's observation of the "vital few and trivial many", the principle that 20 percent of something always are responsible for 80 percent of the results, became known as Pareto's Principle or the 80/20 Rule.

What It Means

The 80/20 Rule means that in anything a few (20 percent) are vital and many(80 percent) are trivial. In Pareto's case it meant 20 percent of the people owned 80 percent of the wealth. In Juran's initial work he identified 20 percent of the defects causing 80 percent of the problems. Project Managers know that 20 percent of the work (the first 10 percent and the last 10 percent) consume 80 percent of your time and resources. You can apply the 80/20 Rule to almost anything, from the science of management to the physical world.

You know 20 percent of your stock takes up 80 percent of your warehouse space and that 80 percent of your stock comes from 20 percent of your suppliers. Also 80 percent of your sales will come from 20 percent of your sales staff. 20 percent of your staff will cause 80 percent of your problems, but another 20 percent of your staff will provide 80 percent of your production. It works both ways.

How It Can Help You

The value of the Pareto Principle for a manager is that it reminds you to focus on the 20 percent that matters. Of the things you do during your day, only 20 percent really matter. Those 20 percent produce 80 percent of your results. Identify and focus on those things. When the fire drills of the day begin to sap your time, remind yourself of the 20 percent you need to focus on. If something in the schedule has to slip, if something isn't going to get done, make sure it's not part of that 20 percent.

There is a management theory floating around at the moment that proposes to interpret Pareto's Principle in such a way as to produce what is called Superstar Management. The theory's supporters claim that since 20 percent of your people produce 80 percent of your results you should focus your limited time on managing only that 20 percent, the superstars. The theory is flawed, because it overlooks the fact that 80 percent of your time should be spent doing what is really important. Helping the good become better is a better use of your time than helping the great become terrific. Apply the Pareto Principle to all you do, but use it wisely.

Manage This Issue

How can the Pareto Principle help me in life and business?

- Have a product range? Have a look at how much of your profit comes from each item. Put your effort into the 20% that give you 80% of your sales - your winners.

- Selling products or services? Most likely, 80% of your sales come from 20% of your customers- the ones who make the big purchases and are repeat-buyers. Cherish that 20%.

- Have a sales force? Have a look at how much of your profit comes from each person. Make sure you reward and retain the 20% that are your winners.

- Have an affiliate program? Find the top 5-20% who give you 80% of your income, and make sure you support, encourage and reward your winners.

- Do advertising? Have a look at where the sales come from. Then identify the few ads that really pull, and the few places where you run them that really produce. Then refine your winning ads, and run them in those few places that give you the best results.

- Check your web traffic logs! Which keywords are bringing you the most traffic? Which search engines? Which websites? You'll find that a small number of keywords, search engines and websites give you the lion's share of your traffic. Nurture them, and build on those strengths!

These are only few examples of the use you can make of the Pareto Principle.

Pareto's Principle, the 80/20 Rule, should serve as a daily reminder to focus 80 percent of your time and energy on the 20 percent of you work that is really important. Don't just "work smart", work smart on the right things. F.J.Reh

Ownership starts from within....

Welcome, this is the first of many "conversations" I will give on developing and maintaining the Entrepreneur/Employer/Business owner Mind. The only requirements I have to ensure your success is:
Open-Mindedness (a closed mind cannot develop)
Motivation (potential is wonderful, but without action..the word becomes stagnation)
Consistency (you must till the soil, plant the seed, and tend the crops...to reap the harvest.. in other words success is not a one-step process)
Intelligence (don't be intimidated, I didn't say degreed/You have to know your product, client, market, field, self, resources, etc. to last in this World Economy)

I will also offer this disclaimer,
I will not promise, give, reference, or show you anything that I haven't read, experienced, seen in action, or has not worked for myself and/or people I personally know.
The purpose of this blog is actually just to change a paradigm/ bridge a gap between the job, employee, worker mindset to the business owner, employer, boss mindset and this is a tool to begin and hopefully maintain that process.

Is there anything wrong with the employee/worker mentality?
Absolutely not, if you are financially comfortable, love what you do, and exactly where you want to be in life, heading exactly where you want to go. This blog is not intended for you and I respect the fact that all the pieces of this puzzle called "Life" was placed exactly where they needed to be for you.

Now, for the rest of us.
Most of us at this very moment are fortunate in many ways in our lives, but there still are the things causing:

• stress
• anxiety
• relationship issues
• parenting problems
• financial issues

Like any other "illness" we have to discuss the symptoms, to properly diagnose what is wrong with us individually, to properly cure ourselves of our "afflictions"....My Dad used to say "It ain't easy." When I was going through some challenge in life and I figured out a formula (from my experiences) for Life as I saw it. Life is all about OPTIONS, the more you have the more likely you dreams, ideas, needs, wants, will become a reality. This, my friends, is what this blog is really all about, expanding your options....


Open-Mindedness (....eliminating fear)

I will begin this topic quoting Robert Kiyosaki's book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad"....."If you want to learn to work for money, then stay in school. That is a great place to learn to do that. But if you want to learn how to have money work for you, then I will teach you that. But only if you want to learn."
"Wouldn't everyone want to learn that" I asked.
"No," said rich dad. "Simply because it's easier to learn to work for money, especially if fear is your primary emotion when the subject of money is discussed."

This sums up most of Capitalist America, "if fear is your primary emotion when the subject of money is discussed." Changing this thinking is the first step to where we diagnose the root of most of our primary ailments. Fear is quite a strong illness when it comes to our financial health..Much like the medical profession big $$$ is made off of our fear or lack of knowledge to cure ourselves. In terms of finance we are raised, taught, and guided directly into debt like it's a good or normal thing..Credit is not normal, it's exploitive, in history it was called "indentured servitude". If you think it's normal. How does it feel to owe one neighbor? 4 neighbors? 20 neighbors? To get products for which you do not presently have the $$$ for....when that becomes "normal" what becomes of the mentality of the people? Are you the debtor or creditor on your job? In your marriage/friendships? Can everything be broken down into owing and what's owed to you? Do you see just from this brief example how we are boxed into stressful situations in Life, where the "fear" comes from.

Now, in contrast....to have the $$$ to pay for exactly what you receive without a balance, food, clothing, shelter basic needs all paid in full, let's not forget...mortgage, school tuition/loans, vehicle(s), comforts (HDTV, Vacations, Dream car) in a society that pays in full for all of these items. Do you see the contrast in even imagining the reduced level of stress, tension, anxiety? See people the formulas are simple enough, it's the road out of the so-called, "Abyss" of debt that we seemed trapped in.


.....to be continued